F**K IT

A few priceless (no it actually cost 1500) moments:

Yesterday morning:

Dada: "Yaar I have (free) passes to Elevate. Come down tonight at 2200 to Centre Stage Mall Noida"

Me: "Dada, how much would the total kharch be? I am pretty much screwed both on the credit card & personal front. Salary arrives only on the 29th".

Dada: "See, entry is free. It depends on what you want to have inside"

Me: "(under the assumption of one drink max). Should not be more than 200. Who else is coming?"

Dada: "Singla, Kapoor and a few others".

Me: "Will see ya there at 2200"

End of Scene 1

Last evening:

Me: "Oye, am done with work. Will get there by 2200. Pl be there on time."

Dada: "Come a little later say by 2230".

Me: "K sure."

End of Scene 2

2230 hrs. Centre Stage Mall Noida:

Me: "Idiot where the F**K are you?"

Dada: "Coming yaar, did not get an auto... coming by rickshaw"

End of Scene 3

2250hrs. Centre Stage Mall Noida:

Me:"Hey long time dada etc etc" (same was reciprocated)

(Vinayak & Sukrut also arrive)

Me: "Hey long time guys etc etc" (same was reciprocated)

Me: "Yaar Singla will take another one hour to come. Lets go in & wait for them"

Everyone: "Yeah sure"

End of Scene 4

2300hrs. Centre Stage Mall; Floor 7; Noida:

He-Man in black suit: "Sorry sir, entry is for couples only"

Dada: "But we have complimentary passes given to us by the singer's manager"

He-Man in black suit: "Sir, rules are rules sorry"

Dada: "But, but"

He-Man in black suit bares down, we scram.

Dada is super tensed now. Singla & 4 others are driving down from Gurgaon. They sure aren't going to be too pleased.

Me(on call with Singla): "Dude, this place is too sexy. Second best in Asia. Just awesome come fast"

Singla(super excited): "Coming man just 5 min".

Dada(calls immediately and explains situation): "Yaar, am doing my best" (gets a screaming in return)

Lots of calls & situation analysis follow. 9 MBAs discuss future course of action

End of Scene 5

2330 hrs. Centre Stage Mall; 7th floor, Noida:

Dada(makes a few calls to his contacts & approaches He-Man gang): "You see we are from IIM. We were told this entry is for singles also".

He-Man in black suit concurs with his gang: "Okay then you may go"

You see mere mortals. We are from I I M. Screw you all, who need a member of the fairer sex to get admission. We can get in even without that (evil laugh). We enter.

He-Man at ticket counter: "Since you are all single, your complimentary pass is not valid. You have to pay up"

WTF!!!

Dada: "How much?"

He-Man at ticket counter: "Rs. 13500"

Me: "Are you fucking mad"

Everyone: "Now that we've come all the way... lets go"

I give my worst look to Dada & take out my plastic. Eyes fill with tears as the plastic runs down the machine & my autograph is requested.

End of Scene 6

2345 hrs. Pocket much lighter. Inside Elevate. Center Stage Mall. Floor 7. Noida:

Place is filled with women with very little on. Points to be noted:

• Most women, I mean most of them look so damn bad in minimal clothes


• The ones who look stunning are mostly being paid tonight


• Why do women in their 40s think they are sexy? Seriously why?

Music is quite awesome. The whole damn place looks super (obviously it does, 1500/4 hours = Rs. 375 per hour = Rs. 6.25 per minute DAMN....)

The obviously single nine men use their coupons to get their hands on some poison & start.

End of Scene 7


0030hrs Same Place. 1 bottle down

Thoughts:

1. Should try and sell Freshmatic here. Amazing market full of A+ class consumers.
2. Oh god!! a few hours from now and I will be selling toilet cleaner in the 44 degree heat.
3. How the hell am I going to get by until salary day?
4. Ok there are a total of 6 girls who look good. 250 bucks per girl. Thats too damn much!

Nine single men try to dance. Quite a sight that must have been


0100hrs Same Place. 2 bottles down

Thoughts:

1. Music ain't so bad. Am actually having some fun here.
   
2. The dance floor is actually quite awesome. Wonder if it could vibrate some beer fat away.
3. Screw it dude... you make at least a lakh a month. Money will come & go...
   

Six single men go outside to smoke. I control the urge (applause expected)


0130hrs Same Place. 3 bottles down

Dada is looking at some pretty young thing like a kid craving for chocolate. I feel bad for him & offer consolation.

Me: "Its okay dada, how many people here do you think would clear MANAC I given the chance?"

Dada: "I donno about that, but everybody here is going to have SEX tonight!!"

Point well taken!


0200hrs Same Place. 4 bottles down

Woohooo..... I seriously think I am Elvis Presley. I should try my hand at being a DJ. Just got to mix & match some bloody songs. Can't come close to selling 2 extra pieces of AirWick to a disgruntled retailer whose breath smells like my toilet in Chennai.

Sukrut has some extra coupons. Feel like having a bite. Paid some more money over the coupons ( I seriously don't remember how much) and ordered a pasta. When your head is swimming in lager, hot pasta down your throat is awesome.

The phone buzzes & stupid singla wants to leave.... Just when I was starting to have some fun.

I broke one of my cardinal rules, and let a drunk sujoy drive me back home (whats the point, the autos were drunk anyways).


0900 hrs, Today

I am off to work. Seriously Reckitt Benckiser I must love the job, for coming to work today. Oil rigs are operating in my head & my nose is running fast enough to compete in the olympics.

Its a 'gold' beat today.

As for last night.... as we say in STEX.

Fuck it.